Finding a job is sasha foxxx brain rewired to eroticize debthard. Creating a resume that concisely summarizes your wonderful experience? Well, not quite as hard, but still a tough feat.
But what if you were applying to be someone's best friend? How do you fit all your great doggie accomplishments onto one page?
SEE ALSO: Spoiled doggo with 5 dog beds prefers the floorIf you thought your dog had a lot of experience being a good dog, think again. Mowgli the dog (part German shepherd, part Rwandan street dog, all lovable) is looking for a temporary foster home to hang out in, and she isn't taking this lightly. She's enlisted in her friend's help to create a detailed resume of all her past experiences, and it looks like she's nothing but qualified for being someone's pet for a while. Perhaps, she's even over-qualified.
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Twitter user Megan Frantz tweeted that her boyfriend, Scott, helped draft the resume for Mowgli, her best friend Kelsey's dog, to find her a temporary foster family. Boy, is this thing comprehensive.
"I adopted Mowgli when she was 4 weeks old in Rwanda and she grew up with me there while I worked for an non-profit," Kelsey stated. "I brought her back to America with me because I was moving back for graduate school at Columbia University. I realized I didn't have the finances or time to give Mowgli a good life while I was studying in NYC and I couldn't find a dog friendly apartment, so that's why she was living with my parents and then moved to stay with one of my close friends in Santa Barbara."
"I hate how much she's moved around, which is why I put all of my energy into finding her a loving long-term solution," she added.
According to Kelsey, the resume began as a joke to try to convince her friend and her husband to care for Mowgli while she studied in NYC. Her other friend was leaving Santa Barbara for an aviation program, so Mowgli needed a new, consistent home stat. Scott stepped in to help out with all the great, witty dog puns to really make Mowgli's accomplishments jump off the page.
"When Megan heard that Kelsey was building a resume for Ms. Mowgli, she pulled me in to help out. How could anyone say no to that?" Scott said. "Kelsey initially wrote a great resume, and I came in to help add my flavor to it. I love all doggo memes, so a lot of my inspiration came from that."
When asked which of part of the resume describes Mowgli best, Scott said, "Gosh, that's a tough one. I'd say anything that describes how well-traveled and how much of an athlete she is. She's a multi-lingual, world-travelling pupperina! Plus she looks super sporty in that red bandanna."
Indeed she does.
If you weren't impressed with Mowgli's travels, "Running Partner certification," or "professional snuggler" status, here are a few more highlights.
- Taught Venezuelan family intermediate borking, including complex phrases such as 'bork' and 'BORK.'
- Gained 15 pounds of American weight & managed to remain adorable.
- Demonstrated a complete dedication to snoozing. Left no soft surface without being slept on.
- Provided thought leadership on nuanced topics such as belly-rubs and nose boops. Increased belly-rubs by 30%.
- Professional Couch Potato
- SKILLS: 'Giving upside down hugs' and 'thinking I'm a person.'
She didcite "irreconcilable differences with Cat" as a reason for leaving her previous position, but we'll let it slide.
Kelsey's friend and her husband did happily accept the chance to house Mowgli, and it sounds like with this new gig, she's living her best life. Right now she's California dreamin', but soon she'll be a Manhattan Beach queen.
"She has lived a pretty extraordinary life, and is a very happy dog," Kelsey said.
Of course she is. Have you seen those beauty shots?
She's hired.
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