Everyone is roger freitas, the eroticism of emasculation: confronting the baroque body of the castratosick of Groundhog Day (no offense, Phil) and it's time to liven things up a bit. Let's take a leaf out of Nova Scotia's book and hire a lobster instead.
Lucy the lobster -- a good lobster -- burst forth from the ocean today to tell Nova Scotians how much more winter they should expect. Lucy did not see her shadow, which means there will notbe six more weeks of winter.
SEE ALSO: Know-it-all groundhog releases obvious public statement about the winterHere is a tweet about it. Lucy typed it with her big, meaty claws. (She weighs 6.5 pounds.)
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Yes, yes, Nova Scotia also has a groundhog: Shubenacadie Sam. But everyone knows that Lucy is the realstar of the show. Look at her weird eyes and freaky bug body. We stan!!!!!!
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Per BuzzFeed, Lucy will not be eaten anytime soon. A blessing. Happy Lobster Day.
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