This post080p Archivespart of Hard Refresh, a soothing weekly column where we try to cleanse your brain of whatever terrible thing you just witnessed on Twitter.
The internet can be a stressful place, but if you know where to look it can also provide a much-needed sense of relief.
For example, after a long day of screaming at Twitter, fielding push notification from Donald Trump, and fending off trolls, I occasionally enjoy sitting back, relaxing, and watching videos of hot knives melting stuff.
It may sound strange. It may sound devious and even slightly concerning. But trust me, it's harmless and soothing AF. You know what? Here, let me just show you...
SEE ALSO: Soothing places online to escape the hellhole that is 2018Welcome, you exhausted souls, to the wonderful world of hot knife videos — a severely under-appreciated ASMR trend just waiting to calm your nerves.
If you're not familiar with the genre, it's exactly as it sounds. A knife so hot that it has the power to (temporarily) melt away all your worries slices through an object, causing an oozing, sizzling mess. The technique is right up there with more popular ASMR knife trends — like candle-carving, soap-cutting, and kinetic sand slicing — but the heat aspect really ups the visual and audio satisfaction.
I first learned about the miracle of hot knives melting shit after stumbling on Laurel Driskill's Instagram account. Under the handle @sugar_boogerz, Driskill's created a comforting little online space dedicated to slicing up marshmallows, candy, gelatin, crayons, lip balm, makeup, desserts, and more with scalding hot knives.
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Pretty chill, right? I mean, I've watched these videos at least 20 times already, and can't possibly decide which is most enjoyable. Between the sound of the knife gently hitting the table, the pools of newly melted liquid, the sizzle and crackle of the heat breaking down the composition of solid objects — AGH! It's all wonderful.
And in case the melted stuff featured in her videos isn't aesthetically pleasing enough on its own, oftentimes Driskill goes the extra mile to top objects with sprinkles, glitter, or whipped cream before slicing. The added effort makes the destruction all the more exciting. Mwuahahaha! 😈
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Intentional ruination has never been so glamorous and, like, my deepest apologies to that cute little marshmallow man who got straight-up roasted, but YESSSSSSS PLEASE I NEED MORE!!!!!! ✨🔥🔪
Though one can buy heated butter knives and other small electric knives meant for cooking, crafts, and other DIY projects, some ASMR creators -- like YouTubers WatchItMelt and MrGear -- heat up their knives with blowtorches or other heat sources.
This can be dangerous (obviously), so to prevent burns, or cuts, or whatnot, you might want to follow my lead. When it comes to hot knife ASMR relaxation, my personal motto is: Leave the hard parts to experienced professionals, and simply chill the heck out while enjoying their smokin' hot content.
A bounty of hot knife videos are available for viewing on Instagram via the hashtags #hotknife or #hotknifeasmr.
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And, of course, there are plenty of videos and compilations on YouTube where folks take hot knives to stuff like cheese, styrofoam, cotton candy, toys, and full bottles of Coca-Cola.
Your retinas are bored of binge-watching Netflix and swiping on Tinder, and they'd surely thank you for this unique form of relief if they had the physical ability to show appreciation.
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