【The Farmer’s Bride Requires Care! Part 2: The Organic Grand Strategy (2021)】

For decades,The Farmer’s Bride Requires Care! Part 2: The Organic Grand Strategy (2021) professional athletes were just little guys and gals who appeared primarily on our TV screens. Their personal lives outside of the competition essentially didn't exist unless a scandal made its way to ESPN or the newspaper.

Now, the action doesn't just end on the field or on the court. We can follow these players on Twitter and get a front-row seat to their unfiltered streams of consciousness. If a notorious trash talker like Eli Apple makes a couple of bad plays in the Super Bowl, the entire NFL can roast him right after the game ends for all of us to see.

Twitter has undoubtedly made sports more fun, more funny, and more human, and some sports figures are just as talented online as they are in their respective professions. So even if you don’t particularly care for sports, hitting the follow button on just a few of these athletes is sure to liven up your timeline.

Best at telling stories that might not be true: Tony Hawk

There’s a good chance you’ve already seen some of Tony Hawk’s most famous tweets. The longtime, semi-retired pro skater has reached a level of celebrity most athletes don’t thanks to putting his name on some of the best video games ever made, two of which just got wonderful remakesa year ago.

You wouldn’t know it, though, because the man is constantly sharing storiesof strangers somehow notrecognizing him in public.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Folks, I've been in the same room as Tony Hawk. He's 6'3" and instantly recognizable. If you thinksomeone is Tony Hawk, get your camera ready because you're almost certainly dealing with the real deal.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

These stories alone make Hawk worth a follow, even if I’m not personally convinced all of them are true. He's just soeasy to spot in a crowd. Still, it doesn't matter if these stories are 100 percent real — it's all about the theatre of the mind.

Best at being maximum petty: Vernon Maxwell

Unlike Tony Hawk, there’s a decent chance you don’t know Vernon Maxwell. He was a good NBA player whose peak was in the mid-90s, winning a couple of championships for the Houston Rockets. That’s important to know because both of those title runs involved knocking out the Utah Jazz, a team Maxwell hates so much that he’s still clowning on the entire state of Utah more than 25 years later.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This was Maxwell's response to the Milwaukee Bucks winning the NBA title in 2021. If he has his way, the Jazz will never get a trophy.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

If I were in Oklahoma City, I don't know if I'd be flattered or offended by that.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

You may be wondering: Why would Maxwell keep this up if he won those championships and the Jazz didn’t? Well, those '90s Jazz teams were, to put it lightly, despicable. Their two best players from that era were unhinged COVID conspiracy theorist John Stocktonand Karl Malone, whose extensive list of wrongdoingsincludes having a child with a 13-year-old when he was 20.

Maybe Maxwell’s broad generalizations of Utahans are a little harsh, but you can see where he’s coming from.

Best profile vibes: Naomi Osaka

Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what you post as long as you nail your Twitter aesthetic. That’s what 24-year-old tennis phenom Naomi Osaka has done.

Don’t get me wrong, Osaka’s tweets aren’t bad — she’s a very authentic person, which comes through as you scroll through her timeline or if you just follow tennis news. Very few people have pushed the conversation about athletes’ mental health forward like she has, as people who could never dream of being as talented as her criticize her for prioritizing her own wellbeing. And whether she’s opining about inequality in women’s sports or astrology, there’s plenty to like.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

I just really dig how she seems like a real person, not someone with a publicist combing over everything she posts. That, combined with a header image of the Joker and a bio that merely says “chaotic neutral,” produces immaculate vibes. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing, Naomi.

Best at being the most charming: Giannis Antentokounmpo

Giannis Antentokounmpo is one of my very favorite people in all of sports. Between his truly excellent “Greek Freak” nickname, the fact that he does incredible things on the court for the Milwaukee Bucks every night, and his infectious smile, there’s nothing to dislike about him. 

While his best tweeting days are admittedly behind him, as he’s acclimated to life in the U.S. and settled into being a guy who just posts about how much he likes playing basketball, he’s got an enduring legacy on the platform. Some of his best work involved learning about American delicacies like smoothies and corn dogs after moving here in 2013.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

The big guy is correct. Smoothies are one of humanity's finest achievements.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

The corn dog tweet is especially excellent because, holy cow, that dude’s hands are massive. There’s simply no one more likable in all of sports right now than the Greek Freak.

Best at keeping it simple: Sue Bird

Sue Bird almost doesn’t need an introduction. The longtime Seattle Storm star has a longer list of accomplishments and accolades than anyone else in this article. She’s one of the greatest WNBA players ever and has an unbelievable five Olympic gold medals. No male basketball player on the planet can claim that.

As for her Twitter account, I only need to say one word: SHEESH.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

She's right! That's a lot of points for one half!

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Again, tough to disagree!

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

These posts really cut to the essence of what sports fandom is sometimes. We all love the competitive fire and the storylines in sports, but at the end of the day, we’re all here for big plays that leave us speechless.

Best Twitter legacy: Shaq

You know all about this guy. Shaquille O’Neal, whose name has been simplified down to just one syllable for 30 years, is a national treasure. He’s been such a mainstay on TV in both sports analysis and commercials that a lot of younger folks probably have no idea that he used to be the baddest dude in basketball. 

His tweets have sadly become a deluge of sponsored posts about NFTs recently, but he deserves a spot in the Sports Twitter Hall of Fame for a bunch of transcendent tweets he did back in the day. Here are a couple of examples:

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

The parenthetical "(dats me yellin)" has been bouncing around in my brain for years.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

If anyone has earned the right to use his Twitter account to sell out, it’s Shaq.

Best newcomer (and also best name): Dick Butkus

The title of “best newcomer” is ironic because Dick Butkus is, by a wide margin, the oldest person on this list at 79. He was a fearsome presence for the Chicago Bears at a time when there were 14 teams in the NFL. There are 32 now.

But the man has settled quite nicely into a later-in-life posting habit, much of which is likely fueled by people close to him posting on his behalf. That doesn’t matter, though, because the spirit of an old, hard-charging midwestern man who still hates his arch-rival Green Bay Packers 50 years after he retired comes through in the tweets. The real highlight of the Dick Butkus Twitter experience is the incredible amount of trash talking he does towards Packers star quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Butkus was angling hard for a blue checkmark while Rodgers was showing off his injured toe in Zoom interviews for some reason. Sports are weird.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Oh no, he's gone mad with power.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

I don’t even know what I’m having for dinner tonight, but Dick Butkus knew when he was 30 that he was going to hate the Packers even when he was close to 80. That’s dedication.

Best overall poster: Kevin Durant

It’s time to enter the realm of an all-time posting legend. Kevin Durant is one of the most dynamic players in NBA history and one of the most dynamic tweeters in Twitter history. Unlike some of the other people on this list, there’s no cutoff where his tweets became less real or funny. Durant has operated at 110 percent posting effort for more than a decade.

First off, there are the classics. Back in 2010, when he was actively an NBA superstar, Durant would give us glimpses into his mind that have since become the stuff of Twitter legend.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

He's got a point.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Over the years, his style has evolved. Nobody in the NBA is more honest in dealing with fans and analysts online than Durant. If you say something that he doesn’t like, he will let you know. Here he is piercing a dagger into the hearts of anyone who cares about advanced statistics in sports in 2019.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Durant has many critics because basketball fans love arguing about stupid things like whether or not someone is the second best player of all time or the fourth best player of all time. He’s not here for any of it. Come at him with some argument you lifted from an ESPN debate show and he’ll shut you down quickly.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Why do people think KD wants to hear these inane thoughts they have about him?

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

I love him so much. Keep in mind that those are just the things he tweets from his verified account. Durant admittedas recently as 2020 that he likes arguing with people from burner accounts, too. 

There’s just never been anyone as dedicated to the way-too-online lifestyle in sports as Kevin Durant. If you must follow anyone on this list, let it be him.