【Watch Raw Talent Online】

Hello,Watch Raw Talent Online this is the CEO of Amazon/owner of The Washington PostJeff Bezos. At around 9:00 a.m. on June 28, President Trump tweeted the following:

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Aside from the obvious inaccuracies in the president's tweet -- Amazon doesn't own The Washington Post (I do), the Postisn't "the guardian of Amazon," and it isn't fake news -- there's one massive, glaring issue that I take with the message.

Contrary to what Mr. Trump says, I dopay internet tax, and I have done so for several years.

SEE ALSO: I have drawn the Trump administration as Sonic the Hedgehog and I am ready to answer for it

For as long as I can remember, I have been paying my annual internet tax in the form of a personal check written out to the IRS. Each calendar year, I pull out my checkbook, write out a check for however many millions of dollars in internet tax I owe, put "tax for internet" in the memo and ship it first class in an envelope that says "government" on the front.

Read it and weep, idiot. Credit: mashable composite; shutterstock

That's right, Mr. Trump. The joke is on you, because I have been sending internet tax to the federal government for YEARS. I do my part to help this country. Can you say the same?

You may be thinking, "Jeff, what is internet tax and how do you calculate how much you owe?" A good question, with a simple answer.

Mashable Light Speed Want more out-of-this world tech, space and science stories? Sign up for Mashable's weekly Light Speed newsletter. By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Thanks for signing up!

Internet tax is a tax for the internet -- a contribution people make to continue using the world wide web. I learned about it on a weight lifting forum in 1999, back before anyone realized you could lie online.

Internet tax is calculated pretty easily: each time you click the button on the mouse, you owe one dollar. Being a pretty prolific internet user, I pay an assistant $150,000 a year to live with me and count my clicks, and then I write out a check to the tax man. As you can see above, this year I clicked the mouse 28 million times. Yikes!

Put it here like this so they'll see. Credit: mashable composite; shutterstock

Make no mistake: Internet tax is notthe same thing as your internet bill. One is a bill, the other is a tax. They are different things. That being said, I would like to make it abundantly clear that if you have not been paying internet tax for as long as you have had the internet, you are breaking the law and willbe arrested.

Of course, if internet tax were as simple as I've made it out to be, we wouldn't all groan every time tax season rolls around, ha ha. Another more complicated part of the internet tax is that each year, about three weeks after sending the IRS your check, you will receive a call from the government informing you that they cannot accept your payment. They will tell you that you, "Do not owe this money," and there "Is not a tax on using the internet, it doesn't even make sense," and to "Please stop wasting government time by sending these enormous sums of money to our office." Whenever that happens, I simply continue sending checks to the IRS until they cash them.

Merely another element in the cat and mouse game of internet tax.

You know, sometimes, when I'm walking around in the big Amazon warehouse where I live with my whole extended family, I start to wonder if it's all worth it. Spending so much of my money, each and every year, on internet tax -- is the internet worth the trouble?

Then, I open my computer and log onto Twitter dot com, and see another insanely bad tweet from the 45th President of the United States. And I think to myself: yes. It's all worth it.

Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.

---

Featured Video For You

---

Princess Charlotte and Prince George's balloon game reminds us of what childhood's really like

---

Topics Amazon Donald Trump Politics

• Tech
• Social Good
• Deals
• Entertainment
• Games
• Science
• Shopping
• Life

• Contingent No More
• The essential podcast that's out to amplify 'the choir of The Wire'
• Messenger Rooms get Zoom
• The essential podcast that's out to amplify 'the choir of The Wire'
• Bomb Envy
• Ford parks itself as autonomous valet comes to the U.S.
• Dude tries to photobomb his wife's workout video and fails
• China starts blocking mentions of Putin online, in case you say anything nasty about him
• Philips now allows customers to 3D print replacement parts
• Angela Merkel made damn sure we saw that Putin

• Navarro vs. Swiatek 2025 livestream: Watch Australian Open for free
• Best Garmin deal: Save $34 on Garmin Forerunner 55
• NYT Connections hints and answers for January 22: Tips to solve 'Connections' #591.
• Best AirPods deal: Get $15 off Apple AirPods 4
• Best headphones deal: The JBL Live 660NC are under $60.
• Best coffee machine deal: Save $250 on Breville Barista Express Impress
• Wordle today: The answer and hints for January 21, 2025
• Shop the LG C3 Series 65
• OpenAI could release agentic AI tool Operator soon
• Notre Dame vs. Ohio State 2025 livestream: Watch College Football Playoff Championship

• How to Squeeze the Most Out of Your iPhone's Battery
• Buy Powerbeats2? Apple might owe you money.
• Crafty orangutan escapes his zoo enclosure because the apes have had it with our crap
• The unicorn trend is no longer a rarity. Can we please call time on it?
• Ryzen 5 1600X vs. 1600: Which should you buy?
• NBA players and other sports stars stage walkouts over shooting of Jacob Blake
• Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 2 UK preorder listing leaks official price
• Don't believe that viral photo of Trump gazing at Putin
• Best Sony headphones deal: Over $100 off Sony XM5 headphones
• A year later, injured turtle returns to man who fixed his shell

• Q&A with tendercare founder and CEO Shauna Sweeney
• Everything coming to Amazon Prime Video in September 2020
• California fires: The potent factor supercharging massive blazes
• Trump at the G20 summit was pretty much a gaffe
• Best soundbar deal: Save $300 on the Sonos Arc
• Emoji sheriffs are patrolling Twitter
• The cherished Trudeau
• NBA players and other sports stars stage walkouts over shooting of Jacob Blake
• The Baffler’s May Day Round Up
• 'The Office' star Ed Helms on playing Andy Bernard and punching the wall